Wine After Aging Tastes Better
by Ag-ro-tag
Summary: Just when he thought he finally organized his life, cruel actions from the past came back with full force, disturbing the reality. Will Ichigo let himself be ovewhelmed by his earlier love? Current: AizenxIchi, ShiroxGrim, Past/future: ShiroxIchi
1. Union and Departure

**A/N on the bottom! **

**BOYxBOY LOVE! CHARACTERS WERE TAKEN FROM KUBO TITE'S MANGA 'BLEACH', SO I DON'T OWN THEM!**

**ALSO, NO FLAMING! If you have negative comments, then please, give some arguments!**

**READ AND REVIEW! I'm happy to receive any comment, even the smallest one ^^!**

**All for now.**

**ENJOY THE CHAPTER!**

CHAPTER 1

„Orihime! Hey, Orihime, I'm here!" A small, raven-haired girl, dressed in purple jacket that matched perfectly the color of her eyes screamed from the bottom of her lungs, drawing attention of all people who were trying to enjoy their Winter time in the Central Park of Karakura. It was Sunday and Winter market was opened, offering people lots of decorations, toys, food, souvenirs that weren't accessible in normal stores. Everyone tried on fine-looking winter coats, tasted juicy fruits and roasted chicken wings or wondered if they should buy porcelain kitten or frog of luck. Near a stand with plushies was standing a girl with long, brown hair; big, gray eyes and pretty big... well, the girl was pretty curvy, making most of boys dream about having her as a girlfriend or a lover. „Orihime!" Her grey gaze stopped staring at the plush lion and landed on the source of calling.

„Oh! Rukia-chan!" Orihime waved back and ran towards her friend. When both girls met, Rukia jumped and hugged the other girl strongly, hiding her face in fluffy, orange scarf that Orihime was wearing. „I'm happy to see you, Rukia-chan! It's been so long!"

„Yeah, I'm glad that we could finally meet!" The petite girl let go of the taller and smiled brightly, directing themselves to the nearest stall with artistic bells. „How were your Christmas and New Year?"

„Ah, they were great! It's the first time I spent Winter holidays with Ishida-kun! Look, he made this scarf for me! It's so comfortable~!" Orihime gave one end of the orange scarf to Rukia, so that the girl could take a closer look. She noticed a small pattern – there were embroidered 6-petaled flowers. They were matching the brown girl's green hairpins, which were given by her deceased brother. The conversation carried on, as both girls didn't have an occasion to meet in almost 2-week period. Rukia told her about spending her Christmas with the Kuchiki family, the Nobility. Even though she belonged to it, she never wanted to live the life of a lady and decided to pay a visit only in bigger celebrations and holidays. Inoue Orihime pitied her friend, she knew the raven-haired girl's life was rough and strict, and so she was impressed by the neverending willpower and inner strength of her friend. The girls made a small tour among other stalls and stopped to buy some hot chocolate. Rukia took a big sip and sighed in pleasure as the warm liquid slowly filled her belly with a pleasant feeling. Orihime did the same, but suddenly, her companion made a serious look, which was only given when the girl wanted to share some important information.

„You'll never guess who came back to Karakura." Orihime blinked in confusion, concentrating on the following words and absent-mindly chewing on sweet potato. „I got a call on Christmas from Ichigo! He wanted to spend Winter holiday with his family." Rukia jumped in excitement, her eyes glimmering as her friend's jaw dropped in disbelief. „Yep! He told me not to tell anyone, because he wants to surprise everyone at upcoming Ishida's party on Friday."

„Oh, I understand!" Orihime winked, silently promising to keep her mouth sealed. „But that's great! I haven't seen Kurosaki-kun since he... He..." Inoue's voice dropped in sadness. Rukia's face also darkened, recalling one of reasons of friend's departure. Feeling the atmosphere breaking, the brown-haired shook her head and carried on with the same excitement as before. „Since he left for the Med Academy! It was almost 6 months ago! I wonder how much has he changed!"

„The one thing I know is that he came back from Tokyo with his new love", said Rukia with a smug face, knowing that her friend was greedy for spicy info. „We will meet them on Friday. I wonder what kind of a person is Ichigo's new guy?"

„We'll be sure to make a precise analysis at the party, Rukia-chan!" Both girls giggled at the thought, each one trying to imagine the love-interest of their friend. „But I'm a little bit worried." The joy was instantly interrupted and Rukia gave a questioning look. „Ishida-kun decided to invite everybody and recently he talked with HIM and HE agreed on coming.", said Inoue. Rukia made a silent 'Oh...' and took a big sip of her chocolate. „But! But! The past was in the past! I'm sure nothing is going to happen and we're going to have a great fun!"

„I also hope. The same as with Ichigo, we haven't seen HIM for quite a long time. I wonder why he hadn't noted me before?" Rukia hummed in deep thought, emptying her cup and throwing it away.

„Oh, he also wants to surprise everyone. This info is top secret, so only Ishida and I know about that!" Inoue smiled, finishing her doughnut with fish paste and onion rings. Rukia chuckled at the other girl's strange appetite and also winked in understatement. A few moments were spent in comfortable silence, both girls excited about meeting two of their friends, yet worrying about possible consequences of their encounter...

!~!~!~!~!

Friday came in no time, so the youth of Karakura Town was preparing for the first in year 2011 party at Ishida Uryuu's place. Even though the nerdy master of sewing wasn't the most popular person, the party was mainly organized by town's two biggest sex-bombs – Matsumoto Rangiku and Inoue Orihime (though she is Uryuu's girlfriend), so almost everybody didn't want to miss the event. The party was also organized for those, who had to move away for college and came back for Winter holidays and Ishida's place was the biggest in whole town (despite earlier objections of the boy, but those were immediately ignored). The sun had already set and slowly the parking lot was covered with cars and motorcycles, welcoming more and more guests. The district was filled with beats of the music and highlighted with colorful shades from reflectors. A black Mercedes Benz wanted to enter the parking lot in front of the house, but had to stop in front of the gate, as there was no space left.

„Shit! I told you we came here too late!" Inside of the car there were two males. Behind the steering wheel was sitting an orange-haired boy with brown orbs that were giving a fierce and annoyed look at the unavailable area. His handsome face frowned angrily at the companion – a boy with brown hair and brown eyes, hidden behind glasses. His expression was calm and the other boy's anger made him chuckle. „Don't you dare to laugh, Aizen! It's your fault! Now I have to find another place, which is probably fucking kilometers away, knowing my luck!" The orange boy set gear into reverse and tried hurriedly to leave the gate before some other cars could block his path. Fortunately, he parked his car 10 meters away from the gate.

„See, Ichigo? You certainly didn't have to get annoyed so badly." Aizen Souske smiled reassuringly, wanting to caress the other's arm, but his gesture was instantly refused with a growl.

„You think I can be tamed like a puppy that was given a big, fat dog cookie?" Ichigo faced the other boy, anger still visible in his eyes. The brow-haired made a silly expression of thinking and smirked.

„I'd never give you dog cookie. I'd be something more like..." He cut of his sentence and slammed his lips with Ichigo's in a greedy, passionate kiss. The orange was shocked for a moment and wanted to push the other away, but his attempts were futile, as Aizen was making wonders with his experienced tongue that was melting his brain and making him hot. After a while he returned the kiss, both boys grabbing their hair and trying to make the most of this quick, heated moment. Immediately, Aizen backed off, leaving his companion with swollen lips, beautifully red cheeks and disheveled hair. Satisfied with the sight he smirked and ended the earlier sentence with „...this". Kurosaki Ichigo scowled at the statement, but felt too weak to fight back after mind-blowing kiss. „Shall we go?" Souske gave a charming smile and went out of Mercedes. So did Ichigo. The orange was wearing tight, black t-shirt; bright-red cardigan and grey jeans, while Aizen picked black turtleneck and white trousers. Most of people that were passing by noticed two handsome boys (some of the girls fell in love at that very moment), but there was a person that recognized the vibrant shade of orange and the eternal scowl.

„Kuuurooosaki-kuuun!" Ichigo stood still, hearing his name from the distance and turned around, only to be attacked by a bone-crushing hug from his big-breasted, high-school friend, Inoue Orihime. As soon as he was aware of the situation, the scowl on his face softened and a big smile appeared when he hugged the girl back. „I can't believe that I see you here! It's such a surprise! I'd never expect Kurosaki-kun to appear here! I'm so happy that I see you! It's been a long time!"

„Whoa, whoa, slow down, Inoue! You're going to kill me!" Ichigo said through his laughter and the girl let go of the boy. „Well, I'm surely happy to see your face. But you're not a good liar, Inoue." The brown-haired girl blinked in confusion, not understanding the random statement Ichigo had just made. „You knew I was coming, didn't you?"

„What? Of course I did not, Kurosaki-kun! Your appearance here is something new for me and Rukia-chan would never give away-mphm!" Orihime started to explain herself, when she suddenly covered her mouth. Ichigo smirked at his friend not purposed betrayal. He made a mental note to kill his friend, Kuchiki Rukia. „Erm... But she hasn't said about you to anyone else! I promise!" Ichigo shook his head in defeat, hoping that Orihime's words are true. His arrival at the party was very important for him. It's been 6 months since he last saw all of his friends and, even though he denied this fact many times, he missed that bunch of freaks, weirdoes and friends. Moving to Tokyo was a painful decision, he left so many memories from Karakura. Inoue looked at Ichigo with a warm gaze as if she was looking at her brother with a loving-care. Ichigo blinked, noticing teardrops gathering under the girl's eyes. „I really missed you, Kurosaki-kun." The orange returned warm smile and embraced his friend, again. Yeah, he really missed everyone. „Oh!" Orihime's mood suddenly changed into curious, as she took a step back and looked behind the orange boy. „It's nice to meet you! I'm Inoue Orihime!" She eagerly took out her hand and approached the brown-haired, glassed boy. Aizen smiled back, taking the girls hand.

„The pleasure is all mine, Inoue-san." Instead of shaking hands, the boy bowed politely and kissed girl's palm. Orihime squeaked and blushed a little.

„Inoue, this is Souske Aizen." Ichigo said, frowning as the other boy didn't care to tell his name to the girl.

„Oh! Are you two together?" She withdrew her hand and smiled at both boys. Ichigo blushed furiously, his eyes trying to look at something else than his friend and nodded insecurely. „That's so wonderful! I wish you two everything the best!"

„Thank you very much, Inoue-san." Aizen smiled at the girl, quickly grabbing Ichigo's hand and bringing him closer. The orange growled in annoyance; he wasn't used to showing affection near his old friends. „We all should be going to the party. Ladies first." The brown-haired male wanted to let Orihime through the gate first.

„Thanks, but I'm still waiting for one of friends. But that's right, you should be going, Ichigo! I bet everyone is going to roar in joy at your arrival!" Orihime waved at both boys, pushing them through the gate. Ichigo gave her the last look, hoping he would find her among other people. The girl huffed in satisfaction, waiting for Rukia to come, when another friend was spotted. „Oh! Abarai-kun! Abarai-kun!"

„Yo, Inoue-san!" A male with long, red hair, done in pineappled ponytail and hippie-style clothing greeted the cheerful girl. It was Abarai Renji, Ichigo's best friend. „How are ya?"

„Great, it couldn't be even better!" The girl clapped her hands, expressing her joy. „So many people came! It's going to be the best party ever! And also, Kurosaki-kun has just arrived!" Renji's black eyes got bigger in surprise after hearing unexpected news.

„You're kidding? Ichigo, here?" The girl nodded in confirmation, but the redhead's face wasn't as cheerful as Orihime assumed. Renji made a sound of trouble and ruffled his ponytail a little.

„What is it, Abarai-kun? Aren't you happy?"

„No, it's not that! It's just... I've just seen Grimmjaw and... You know... Entering Ishida's house."

„Oops..." The fact dawned on Orihime. She immediately shared the same troubled expression as her redhaired friend. As their brainstorm proceeded, Ichigo and Aizen entered Ishida's mansion. The orange boy was surprised that there were so many people he hadn't even seen, wondering what made Ishida to do an open-party. Or maybe who... The crowd was moving to the beat, all bodies jumping and dancing variously. There was an energy and Ichigo was overwhelmed, feeling an urge to join the group of strangers and dance. He looked at Aizen, who seemed to feel a little bit uneasy. Ichigo sighed, he knew his boyfriend might get a little nervous in his environment, so he grabbed Aizen's hand and squeezed it reassuringly. They were passing through the living room when suddenly he noticed familiar long, blond locks, curvy figure and scandalous style of clothing that was more showing, rather than hiding. It was Matsumoto Rangiku, the sexiest girl in the town. He could only see her back, she was occupied with talking to someone, but he couldn't figure out who it was. Right beside two other appeared – baldy with wooden sword, Madarame Ikkaku and white-haired shorty with ice-blue eyes, Hitsugaya Toshirou. Both of them covered the sight of the person Rangiku was talking to, so Ichigo didn't even bother to see the stranger. Instead, Toshirou for a moment scanned the room and the crowd and his gaze finally landed on Ichigo. His eyes got bigger from surprise and... fear. Ichigo waved in welcome, though the strange look the short guy gave him made him puzzled. As he was approaching, Hitsugaya whispered something into Matsumoto's ear, making her head turn at the orange boy. Her look also expressed worry. _'What the hell is happening?'_ Ichigo made a confused face, but then Rangiku launched at his direction and Ichigo got attacked the second time in the evening.

„Ichigo~! My God, Ichigo~!" The blondie squeezed her friend painfully, making her victim suffocate between her huge breasts. He could tell the girl was honestly surprised by his arrival, but something was out of ordinary. From the corner of his eye he could see that Hitsugaya and Ikkaku didn't want to come and that Rangiku was slowly directing him away. „Why haven't you told me that you're coming, baby~!"

„Rangiku-san... Let go... Gyah!" Finally, he released himself from pain. „I wanted to see everybody, but why are we-GAH!" Before he could end his question, the blond girl wrapped her arm around his neck and forced him to go with her, further away from others.

„Oh, come on! At least you could give us a call! Have you seen others?" Rangiku asked, but Ichigo's reply was choking and desperate attempts to loosen girl's grip. „No? Then let's meet them! Wait to see their faces!" The blondie and the orange-haired disappeared in the crowd, leaving dumbfounded Aizen all alone. The boy huffed, trying not to get annoyed by being ignored and decided to wait for Ichigo until he said 'Hi!' to everyone. As he was heading towards any free spot, two boys, who Ichigo recognized earlier, passed him by and were probably going to see his boyfriend. This made him think for a while, because the blondie's behavior was surely suspicious.

„...They're actin' fuckin' strange. What's their dea-UF!" Somebody bumped into him, interrupting his thinking. „Hey, watch wher'ya goin', man!" Aizen stumbled a little and wanted to answer back to the rude comment, but then he stood, stunned by the sight in front of him. It was a boy with pure white skin and long hair, done in a loose ponytail. He wore black jacket and tight, white t-shirt with a strange graphic showing a dragon that was eating it's own body, and tight, black, rugged jeans with hobnails around the waist. The face was fierce, almost belonging to a madman, and there were lots of earrings in his ears. Pierced once were also his lower lip and left eyebrow. But what captured him the most were his eyes – two golden, shining orbs surrounded by pitch black sclera. It took him some time to register the albino in front of him, but then he found an explanation of everyone's strange behavior. „What'ar ya lookin' at? Do I know you or I hav' shit smeared on ma face'?" Aizen's brown gaze changed from surprised to cold.

„No, I'm sure we don't know each other, but I'm certain that we will, pretty soon." Souske bowed his head in fake politeness, a emotionless smile welcoming his face. The albino blinked without amusement and grinned in maniacal way. „Now, if you excuse me, I think my partner is searching for me." The brown-headed bowed again, this time leaving the smiling albino, who inwardly was rather intrigued by the newly-met stranger.

„Ain't'chya a creepy bastard..." the white said to himself, when a pair of big, muscular arms embraced him from behind, bringing him close to a blue-haired male with a big, threatening grin, showing two sharp canines. The male was dressed in black, torn slipover with blue panther printed on its back and navy-blue jeans. „Oh, Grimmy-kitty. You wan'ta be scratch'd behind ya'r ear or came for som'milk?" The blue-haired growled, thightening the hug and biting the other's neck.

„Fuck, Shiro, you're a damn pervert." Grimmjaw Jagerjaques whispered into the other's ear, slowly directing the albino into the dark corner and trying to move his hands under the level of waist. „You're not helping me to hold back." Tensa Shiro chuckled darkly, feeling the other's sentence full of desire for more than just a romantic embracing. However, he stopped Grimmjaw before his hands found their way inside his jeans. The movement caused a sound of disapproval.

„I'll tak'care of ma' wild beast AFTER seein' al' guys. Patience." Shiro kissed the bluenette on his neck and parted. The other grumbled, but decided not to argue with his lover. After all, the albino was pretty well-known for his bad mood... and all its consequences. „I'm wonerin' why Big Boobs, Head-bulb and Snow White suddenly left. As if the're hidin' somethin'."

„Che. You can always go after them and find out. Whatever it is..." Grimmjaw crossed his arms, earlier excitement slowly fading away and replaced by anger. „What I disliked was that fucking brown-nerd. His eyes made me want to puke." Shiro laughed at the statement and nodded. There surely was something behind that strange face... „I fucking don't want you to hang around that guy, understand?"

„Ar'ya jealous, Kitty cat?" The albino chuckled, enjoying the annoyed look on his boyfriend's face. „Not tha' I want to, but I hav'a feelin' tha' I will see tha' guy pretty soon... Anyway, let's go, Grimmy." Tensa Shiro started walking towards the direction his friend headed earlier. His face expressed excitement of a psycho, making some people scared and even stepped aside. The feeling of discovering something he was not supposed to see was thrilling and adrenaline rushed through his veins. No matter how forbidden and how would he react, Shiro loved revealing secrets, even those painful. After some time he found the group of his friends, gathered in one spot and pretty much worked up. His already wide eyes got even bigger and the smile was even more wicked. The cause of fuss wasn't seen, but it only made him more determined to find it out. He approached the group and, suddenly, Kuchiki Rukia was leaving the group. Her face was all in laughter and joy. With her eyes closed, she accidentally bumped into Shiro. „Why hello ther', Ruki-chan!" The raven-haired girl looked up, making the albino even more curious. He hadn't seen Rukia since the beginning of party and she looked at him with a mixture of surprise, shock, joy and... fear. _'Ya'r also troubl'd by me, eh~?'_ The girl looked behind in panic and, all of a sudden, jumped and embraced his neck tightly. „Long time, no see!"

„Yeah, definitely too long, Shiro!" Rukia released the albino, trying her best not to let her friend go inside the circle. „I'm surprised to see you! How have you been? Maybe we should go somewhere and tal-!" As she tried to grab Shiro's hand, the albino closed her mouth by putting his direct finger on it.

„Nu-nu-nu, Ruki-chan, tha's not gonna stop me."

„S-Stop you? From what?" She laughed nervously. Some of friends heard the strange conversation and turned around, only to notice the albino. There were still some that ignored his presence and were concentrated on his goal. He grinned maniacally and waved. For some reason, no one dared to move or to call him._ 'Curiouser and curiouser...'_.

„From fidin' out why're ya al' actin' so fuckin'ly suspicously AND wha'chya hidin'." He walked past Rukia and other people, coming closer to eager Orihime and Ishida, who were obviously enjoying someone's presence and were completely unaware of him. He tried to take a look behind the couple's arms, but someone from the group called his name loudly, making Orihime look back and notice the albino. It was the moment that the last wall was broken and he could clearly see the reason of everyone's happy time. However, the reason caught him off guard and the albino found himself completely speechless.

„S-Shiro?" The reason, which everyone tried prevent from being discovered by him, was the orange-haired, brown-eyed, eternally scowling Kurosaki Ichigo. The other boy was also staring at the albino in pure shock. He should have expected that Shiro would also show up. After all, they shared all of their friends, they shared the same town, they shared many memories... The white boy stopped his mindless look, psycho features welcoming his face as he laughed his hysterical laughter. The atmosphere became dense and Ichigo stopped gawking. Instead, he scowled deeply, feeling an unpleasant sensation running like a wave through his whole body.

„My, my, my~! If it's not Berry-chan!" Shiro tried to hold back his laughter and bowed in front of the orange-haired. „I can't believ' I liv'd long enough ta'see yer majesty!" Ichigo winced at rather rash tone of the white.

„It's been a while, Shiro..." The orange boy's tone was irritated. He crossed his arms, and huffed, wishing silently for the other to go away. „Bravo for you, I'm completely surprised. I should have known you'd also be here." Shiro eyed him, stoping his laughter, but still smirking.

„You haven't changed at all. I can clearly say that you'd just want me to disappear at this instant." Everyone gasped in fear, even Ichigo shook a little. Shiro's strange way of talking was rather natural for everyone, but when he talked properly, it was a sign that he was pretty much serious. From experience, Shiro reserved this way of talking only for Ichigo. Shiro huffed at dead silence and looked around. No sooner, he noticed the familiar glasses, followed by cold like steel, brown eyes and calm smile. „Heh, so tha's wha'chya meant when sayin' we'll see again.". Aizen chuckled, nodding his head. „Ain't'chya a sneaky an' fuckin' annoyin' type?" Shiro stated with an evil smile, making Ichigo look daggers at him.

„Shiro, what the fuck is going on?" Grimmjaw found his way through the crowd and joined Shiro in strange reunion. He instantly noticed the creepy glass-eyed male and snarled, but then his attention was drawn on Ichigo. For some reason Shiro was looking at that guy with strange emotion. He also heard his lover talking normally... which was completely odd. „Who are you?" The bluenette questioned the orange boy.

„Calm down, Grimmy, there's nothin' ta be afra'd of." Shiro came closer to his boyfriend and wrapped his arms around the neck, placing small kisses. The golden gaze never left Ichigo and observed the shocked expression on handsome, yet annoyed, features. After calming the blue a little, the albino gave a thoughtful look and spoke „Grim, I'd lik'ta introduce t'ya Kurosaki Ichigo, ma ex-boy".

!~!~!~!~!

**Past**

„Ichigo..." Shiro whispered against the tanned ear, as he caressed the sweated body, slowly recovering from rapid wave of ecstasy and unbearable pleasure. He lifted himself a little and enjoyed the view of glimmering, sweaty skin; relaxed from passion muscles, deliciously and beautifully red face, which was half-covered by bright orange bangs. Breathing was deep and audible, parted mouth wanted to suck in as much sweet air as it could. The albino smiled warmly and decided to close the access to oxygen with his own mouth, sealing those sweet lips in a lazy, yet sensual kiss. The tanned boy wrapped his arms around marble-white shoulders and brought the other body closer. The connection lasted only few moments, Shiro didn't want to exhaust Ichigo, even though he still felt burning desire just by watching his lover lying innocently on violet, satin bedsheets. „Ya sur'ly seem ta be tir'd."

„It's you, who is making me like that." Shiro winced playfully and brought Ichigo's body closer to his. His white hand reached for the orange locks, softly uncovering hidden chocolate gaze.

„Tha' hurts, King." Ichigo placed his head on the white chest, listening to the other's heartbeat. „But ya hav'ta admit it. Ya lov' when I screw ya lik'tha'."

„That's because you're a pervert, sexoholic, fetishist and other words similar to term 'man for sex'." Ichigo grumbled, looking at the window. His lover's laughter rang in his ears, making him anxious about his further actions. Both lovers were lying silently in room, yet no one dared to fall asleep. This night was very special. Ichigo was supposed to leave Karakura and start his live in Tokyo tomorrow. He passed entrance exams and got into Tokyo Medical Academy. Shiro, on the other hand, was welcomed in the Hokkaido University of Education, where he was supposed to study Fine Arts. The distance between Tokyo and Hakodate was pretty big and it scared Ichigo.

„King? Ar'ye sleepin'?" The albino asked, feeling something strange on his chest. It was wet, right near his love's eyes. „Ichigo, what's wrong?" Shiro changed his tone and lifted the orange head. It seemed that the other tried to fight back tears, but still single drops were falling. He sighed, knowing the reason why his lover was feeling down and gently kissed both cheeks, trying to get rid of salty water. „You're still worrying about us? I told you, we'll be fine. It's not like there are galaxies between us."

„But..." Ichigo spoke, worry heard in his voice. „We won't be able to see each other. I don't know what kind of environment you'll fall into, what kind of people you'll meet..."

„Nah, I'm a big boy."

„You're going to party there, aren't you?" Ichigo turned his head, facing the albino fully. „And there are going to be some pretty boys."

„Hey, not everybody, who's studying there, is gay, ya know?" Shiro quirked his brow, amused by strange act of jealousy. „However, I don't promise I won't be partying hard. I need to take care of my social life, too."

„If you can't promise me that, then how am I supposed to know you won't look after some pretty asses, just to release you sex-meter?" Shiro frowned, which was quite unusual of him. There was something strange in arguments that Ichigo was making. „Last time we were at Rangiku's party you were doing nothing, but looking and drooling over other guys. Hell, you even were praising them in front of me!"

„Just because I adore with my eyes the shape of other bodies, it doesn't mean I'll be fucking their brains out after a second!" Ichigo crossed his arms, looking angrily at Shiro with disbelief at his words. Such a stance made the white even more agitated. „Do you really think that I'm nothing else but a fucking sex-animal that wants to rape everything and everyone around at any cost? Fuck, Ichigo, it's amusing! I thought you were better than that." A dark, sarcastic chuckle escaped through white lips.

„Sorry, but lately you've been acting like one. You make such a fool of yourself in everyone's eyes! And the worst thing is that they're also looking at me with those pathetic faces."

„Well, I'm soo sorry, your majesty! Just because I'm having some fun it doesn't mean you have to fucking control me as if I was a slave!"

„Have you even tried to give a small thought about my feelings?" Ichigo shouted, as he couldn't take more of the nonsense Shiro was giving. „Right now I'm feeling as if I was nothing more, but a bag for your fuck! Nothing else, but fuck here, fuck there, fuck everywhere! Am I only meant to sex you up? Is that what I fucking am to you?" The sarcastic smile on the albino's face disappeared, showing a big surprise and slowly considering all the words. „When I'm treated like that, I have the right to be fucking afraid! You've never given me the reason to calm myself down and think that distant relationship with you wouldn't be bad! I don't even know what I am supposed to do anymore!" Ichigo fell on bed and covered his head with sheets. There was an awkward silence in the room. _'I never knew that Ichigo was concerned that much about us...'_ the white thought to himself. He looked at the figure of his lover, gently putting his hand on covered shoulder. „Leave me alone." He withdrew and looked at Ichigo a little longer. Their 2-year relationship was going through a fucking big crisis. Their friends weren't optimistic about the future, as one thing was abnormal after such a long period – the phrase 'I love you' had never been said, not even once. For some reason both boys could feel deep inside their hearts that they did feel that way, so saying those three words was completely unnecessary. Shiro sighed, grabbing his snow-white locks in aggravation. Even though he seemed not to be concerned about their departure, the albino was as much scared, but he decided to bottle the feeling in, so Ichigo wouldn't be too concerned. _'I probably made a huge mistake. Now he thinks I don't give a shit about it...'_. He waited till Ichigo's breathing became stable, so that he could wrap his arm around the other's waist and embrace him to sleep. It was their last night and he wanted to remember the touch, the scent, the picture of his love, for it was unknown when he'd be able to see his King again...

And so the next day came. Ichigo woke Shiro up. He had to prepare for the flight to Tokyo. The morning and noon seemed to go peacefully – no one wanted to recall the last argument. Instead, Shiro was a lot more affectionate. This was his last chance to show Ichigo how much he cared. His actions weren't left unnoticed; the orange-haired was surprised and accepted all kind gestures. But he was battling with himself. The mind and the heart were having one of the greatest duels in the history of emotions. Ichigo wasn't sure what kind of results he was going to receive, but he wished for them to hurry up, as he, Shiro, Rukia, Renji, Orihime, Ishida and Chad were being closer to the airport. No, there were actually in front of the clearance. The flood of nervousness came over as he faced all of his friends. In purpose, Ichigo was slowly saying 'Bye' to his group, leaving Shiro for the end. Unfortunately, his turn came ironically quickly. Both boys were standing in front of each other and couldn't say a word. Shiro scratched his short, white spikes, looking at his lover in deep concern. There was a moment of hesitation in Ichigo's inner decision, but he pushed it away. It was now or never.

„Take care of yourself, Ichigo. We'll see each other as soon as I earn some money." Shiro smiled. It wasn't maniacal, it wasn't sarcastic. It was warm, full of care and reassurance. Chocolate orbs started to get red, as tears were building up under his eyes. The albino thought about that as a sign 'I'm going to miss you...' and embraced the other. They stood like that for a second, until Shiro swallowed hard lump in his throat and mumbled. „I love you." Ichigo's eyes widened in shock. _'No, no, no, no, no! Don't do this... Don't! Why can't you be a jerk! Why? Oh God, please, no!'_. Suddenly, Ichigo pushed the other violently, making Shiro fall on the floor on his back. The rest of the group stood still, petrified.

„I-It's over..." Those words were slicing his throat as they came out. He didn't dare to look at the albino, but he was sure he said this sentence loud enough.

„W-What?" Shiro's eyes widened. He couldn't understand Ichigo's sudden action.

„I said IT'S FUCKING OVER!" Ichigo looked at the white with eyes full of anger and sadness. „There's no way on Earth for me to live like that. I can't live there without you. So it's a lot more comfortable to end it here and start again in Tokyo." Ichigo knew that way was full of cowardice, foolishness. But he couldn't believe Shiro. He didn't want to be hurt. So he changed his way of thinking: he needed to hurt Shiro first. The albino stood up, his black eyes not moving. „Farewell, Shiro." Ichigo picked up his luggage and entered the gate, disappearing behind the airport security, leaving dumbfounded group of friends and broken-hearted Shiro. Nobody wanted to make a move or approach the white-haired. They stood in one place, until Renji bravely put his hand on Shiro's arm, shaking him gently.

„I... I don't know what to say..." The redhead started, but got immediately scolded by Rukia for his choice of words. „It surely was a fatal blow. I'm honestly sorry, Shiro..." The albino blinked a few times. Suddenly, his golden eyes flashed with hate, his gaze became so sharp that was almost slicing the space in front of him into million pieces. All friends came closer, concerned about the condition of the white.

„You son of a bitch..." Shiro whispered, hands turning into fists and shaking violently. Whisper changed into series of loid curses, „YOU SON OF BITCH! YOU MOTHERFUCKER! FUCK! FUUUCK! FUCKING COWARD! AAAAAAAAAAGHHH!"

**AG-RO-TAG's NOTE!**

**Dear fanfiction...**

**I haven't been here since forever... Actually, around one year ago was the last time I've updated anything... Jesus Christ, that was one of a hell massive writer's block! And for some reason I just... woke up and wanted to write! Really! And this time I decided to come back to the biggest fandom of my lifetime – HichixIchi!**

**AG-RO-TAG'S REVIVAL, LET'S ROCK!**

**Hehehe... Now, some words about the story.**

**Did you like it? :D It's set a little bit after New Year's Eve.**

**I should warn you, I'm not from English-speaking country, so my writing may not be perfect... At least I'm trying my best!**

**This is going to be another story about romance, but from different perspective! Shiro and Ichigo WERE together, but not anymore... or will they? :3 The story was marked current AizenxIchigo, GrimmjawxShiro, past/future ShiroxIchigo. I just HAD to pair them with different guys and I'm a fan of Grimmjaw, but not that much of Aizen, he just pisses me off... So excuse me, but I may be rough on him and make his character either pitful or cruel to the point of exaggeration!**

**I hope I'll keep up. Update soon~!**


	2. Agreement and Fight

**READ AND REVIEW!**

CHAPTER 2

The party at Ishida's carried on. It was already past midnight and the level of sobriety was gradually decreasing. Partying people were lost in unspoken ritual of dancing, singing, laughing and passing out. But not everybody could join the cheerful, careless atmosphere. Just a moment ago a strange reunion of Kurosaki Ichigo and Tensa Shiro, accompanied by their current lovers, took place. The orange-haired boy scowled in annoyance at the sight of his white ex-boyfriend, while the other grinned in twisted way, completely impressed. Whole scene was witnessed by the group of their friends, who were trying their best not to let those two boys see each other. Unfortunately, their closest friend, Kuchiki Rukia, knew that the encounter was inevitable. She was deeply worried about possible outcomes. She switched here purple look from Shiro's boyfriend, Grimmjaw, to Ichigo's, Aizen. The blue one seemed to be purely shocked, he probably didn't know that the albino had ever dated somebody before him. On the other hand, Ichigo's lover was pretty calm, but his brown eyes were sending some sort of cold wave that was, probably, supposed to make the white boy feel uncomfortable. The raven-haired girl pitied Aizen. He just simply didn't know that Shiro didn't give a damn about strangers, their cold looks or murderous intentions. Moreover, those ill gestures towards him were making the white even more pumped up with adrenaline and excitement, which may later be used for fighting or, in worse case, changing into berserk mode. And if the person happened to fight Shiro's most dangerous state... there was no way to win, no matter how much stronger the opponent was. Because of that, Rukia eyed Aizen with worry, hoping his threatening attitude wouldn't provoke Shiro to fight.

„Mayb' instead of starin' at each othe' lik'a bunch of lunatics, shall we talk for'a mom'nt in private, Ichi~?" The albino set his piercing golden eyes at strong ochre orbs. The gaze made Ichigo's soul twist and heart bump rapidly. Nothing mattered to him at that moment, not even his boyfriend, who seemed to be taken back by such a direct offer. Those eyes had this strange power - the power to achieve whatever they wanted. „I think ya owe me tha', don'tchya think?" Shiro smirked, not caring about series of curses and questions coming from his blue lover's side. After a second, Ichigo gave insecure nod.

„You don't have to do whatever this guy tells you." said Aizen as moved closer, wrapping his arm around Ichigo's waist and hugging him possesively. Shiro mid-closed his eyes, his smirk changing into dangerous grin. The orange shivered and freed himself.

„I'll be fine." The orange whispered, giving a reassuring look. „He won't do anything if I don't let him." In the background he could hear albino's chuckle at rather blunt statement. Brow eyes hardened. „Alright, let's talk."

„That'so kind of ya, King. I'm really honour'd!" The white grabbed his chest, pretending to be moved deeply, which made the orange-headed more irritated. „Follow me." Both ex-lovers left the group and found an empty space in the kitchen, far away from the beat of music and with some drunkards lying on the ground. Shiro smirked, finding this place highly entertaining and fitting. He moved to the fridge and took out two bottles of beer, one of them being given to the other boy. The white took a generous sip and sighed in refreshment, stretching his arms and relaxing muscles. „Heee~, nothin' can replace good, cold beer~!" Ichigo also opened his bottle, but didn't drink the golden liquid. Instead, he observed his companion. The silence was later noticed by the albino, so he took a quick glance. „Ya'r really tense, Berry. It's a party, so chill out, will ya?"

„What do you want?" Ichigo growled, averting his eyes from the other. After what he had done he felt enormously awkward and it was a big shock to him that the albino wanted to have a word with him. His ex was really unpredictable, so he couldn't tell what was hiding behind that black eyes.

„I said I want'd ta talk, didn't I? Aft'a al', it's been 6 months, eh~?" Shiro smirked. For some reason, troubled Ichigo always made him pleased. Of course, he had to be the reason of troubling, otherwise things would go another way. The orange eyed him suspiciously and took the first sip from his bottle. „It's nothin' really personal to me, bu' I can see ya'r pretty much fidgety."

„I really wonder why..." Ichigo sniggered sarcastically.

„Still, I don't see why ya'r so angry at me, Ichi~." Shiro moved closer, smirk widening in maniacal way. „I believe it should'av been othe' way'round. I was the ditch'd one, right?" Ichigo's eyes narrowed. All of a sudden, embarrassment flew through him. It was the same feeling he had through the first month in Tokyo. He could never forgive himself for leaving Shiro in such a perfidious way. Now that his ex mentioned one of his biggest mistakes, he felt like a cold-hearted, ruthless bastard. He probably was one back then. „BUT~!" All unpleasant thoughts faded away and Ichigo jumped in shock from sudden shout. „It's been sooo long tim' tha' I no longer min'dat. I became a bette' person, I start'd ta liv' again, so no grudg'is held~!" Ichigo blinked in bewilderment. „Aft'a seein' ya tonight, I thought we can put our past in the past an' start bein' pals, again."

„Is that so?" For some reason, Ichigo's annoyance started to disappear and he gave a deep thought about coming back to being friends with Shiro. _'Hell, is it even right to be pals with your ex?'_

„Yep~!" Shiro grinned cheerfully, to Ichigo's surprise. It's been quite a long time he saw a calm feature on normally twisted face. „Besid's, it's not lik' ya mean anythin' to me now." Ichigo was impressed by how the words stabbed him painfully. He shook himself mentally. _'Right, he doesn't mean to me anything, either. I'm with Aizen.' _„So, what'chya say, aibou?" The white moved his bottle in front of Ichigo's face. „For the new beginning?" Ichigo stared at the bottle for a moment, before sighing and smiling in defeat.

„Yeah... For the new beginning." He gently hit Shiro's beer with his own and both boys took a big sip, sealing their word. Ichigo relaxed a little and, seeing that Shiro didn't want to be bitchy or cruel to him, he took a few deep breaths and tried to begin conversation. „You really changed a lot, Shiro." The albino eyed him questioningly. „What's with all those earrings and piercings?"

„Nah, I've just made som' changes in ma'self. Wha', ya dislik' it?" The white grabbed his hair to free them from ponytail. Silver locks fell freely on broad arms and well-build back, faintly shining from kitchen lamps. Brown eyes followed the movement faithfully.

„Can't say I like it... I was used to only one earring, not hundreds in ears, one in lip and two in eyebrows. Isn't it a little bit too much?" Shiro laughed at Ichigo's statement, putting the bottle down. „However... Long hair quite suits you."

„Ya see? I've told ya tha' before." Shiro chuckled, thinking about the times his hair was a lot shorter in... well... earlier times. He decided to give a thorough look at his ex, hoping to find some differences between the present and the past. Ichigo's hair got a little longer, the ends mildly touching his arms, but that was the only feature that caught his black-golden eyes. Ichigo looked at him, confusion pained on hi face, as Shiro decided to leave his eyesight from face to body. There was a strange change – it was almost as if Ichigo became smaller, more thin. He wasn't completely sure of that fact, clothes were successfully deforming all shapes. _'Tha' would be strange... But better giv'it a try...' _„Hey, Ichi... I still hav' one wish from ya, aft'a ya dump'd me."

„Can you stop reminding me of that?" Ichigo scowled.

„I'll neve' mention it again, but ya need to do it and no noes." Shiro's eyes flashed dangerously, earlier friendly face replaced to a psychotic grin. „Duel me." As he was trying to take another sip, Ichigo's eyes widened and the boy accidentally choked.

„W-What?"

„Duel me, fight me, kick me, hit me, scratch me, whatev'a ya want to call it." The white put his beer aside and started to walk towards the orange boy.

„Wait, Shiro! Are you serious?" Ichigo also left his bottle, but took a few steps back. Black eyes weren't joking and he knew that Shiro wouldn't change his mind, nor could he.

„Oh, yeah, I'm deadly serious." The albino stretched his arms and flexed his muscles, preparing for fight. „I haven't had a good fight for quite a long time, Ichigo. And you know how much I enjoyed our little duels." Ichigo brought his fists together, still walking back from the other boy. He concentrated on his new opponent, waiting for any strange and rapid movement. „I hope you won't disappoint me." Shiro's pace quickened and both boys entered the living room, passing by all dancing people. Some of them felt the murderous atmosphere around two boys, so they decided to back off and make some place. Seeing the crowd parting, Shiro's golden eyes shined as his irises became very tiny. „LET'S GO, AIBOU!" Suddenly, the white launched himself and faced Ichigo, only millimeters away. The orange noticed Shiro's arm getting ready to punch, giving him enough time to block the attack. The crowd held its breath, impressed by the force of Shiro's punch and the speed of Ichigo's reaction. The albino grinned in satisfaction, rapidly drawing back and placing series of hits on opponent, which were constantly blocked. „You can't block me forever, Ichigo!" Shiro punched with more force. Ichigo gritted his teeth, feeling his arms getting damaged. It was right, he had to do something else. However, punching stopped and he felt himself being cut off the ground. The orange's eyes widened, as he used his hand to avoid falling and regained his balance. Shiro smirked, dropping his hands for a moment. _'There's the opening!' _Ichigo's eyes focused and he started to run towards the white. Before there was any reaction, the orange boy kicked Shiro in ribs, making him cough in pain. Black eyes widened in surprise, white hands grabbed the flying foot, so the blow wasn't powerful enough to seriously hurt him. Ichigo stopped and tried to withdraw his leg, but the other's grip was too strong. Then, he felt his ankle being twisted, making him groan in pain. „What's wrong? Little boy is going to cry?"

„Shut the hell up!" Ichigo growled and supported his body weight with his hands, only to lift the other leg and give a powerful kick on albino's face, which send the other flying. Everyone's attention was paid on the fight, some of less sober people started to chant both boys' names. Shiro grabbed his face, trying to ease some pain, when he felt being lifted by tanned hand. Ichigo could hear dark chuckling coming form his opponent. „Have enough already?", Ichigo asked, but he knew that it was a silly question.

„Oh, I'm just getting warmed up." The albino grabbed other's waist and twisted it, releasing himself. No sooner after landing, he started to punch and kick, not giving any free time or opening. Ichigo decided to balance offence and defence. His senses sharpened, so that he could strike and block at the same time. All people witnessing the battle were caught by the show of strength. The movements and kicks were so quick that their eyes weren't able to register all of them.

„Kurosaki-kun! Tensa-kun!" There was a faint calling from the group, which wasn't audible for the fighting boys. It belonged to Orihime, who was frightened by the fierce battle her friends were having. „Please, stop it! Kurosaki-kun!" The brown-haired girl tried to pass through and reach the centre, but was immediately stopped by hand of blond, big-breasted girl. „R-Rangiku-san?"

„Oh, Orihime-chan, why so nervous~?" The blondie giggled, wrapping her arms around the shorter girl, preventing her from interrupting the duel.

„B-But Tensa-kun and Kurosaki-kun..."

„Aah~, no need to worry! They're not fighting a real fight!" Matsumoto smiled. Just when she spoke, Ichigo turned around a few times and kicked high enough. Shiro stumbled a little, head a little dizzy from damage. Blood started to dribble down from white lips. Orihime shook in fear at the violent sight. „It's just their way of bonding~!"

„But they're obviously hurting each other!" The brown girl shouted, trying to set herself free from Rangiku's strong arms. Another hand was placed on her head. This time, it belonged to ink-haired, glassed boy, whom she recognized as her boyfriend, Ishida Uryuu. „I-Ishida-kun..."

„Matsumoto-san is right. Just let them be, Inoue-san." His pale hand reached for his glasses, correcting their place on his nose. „Maybe those two idiots firstly need to beat themselves into pulp, considering the last time they were together..." Ishida focused his blue eyes on both boys. None of his friends knew about the conversation Shiro and Ichigo had had before the fight, but he was not far away from the kitchen and was able to overhear some things, especially the toast 'For the new beginning'. Ishida couldn't quite believe the things Shiro was talking. After Ichigo's departure and before moving away to Hokkaido, Shiro wasn't his normal self anymore. The orange-haired broke something inside, which made the current Shiro a lot more unpredictable. Or was it just his imagination? He stopped his thought, when a loud noise of shattering glass showed up. Right behind Ichigo's ear, one of his lamps crushed into pieces. The orange avoided it, luckily, and found another lamp, preparing to throw it at albino. „HEY! If you want to fight in my house, don't involve my stuff!" Both fighters looked Ishida for a millisecond. They renewed their attacks, but Shiro send Ishida his middle finger. The glassed boy scowled in irritation.

„Do you think they forgot what happened 6 months ago?" Orihime asked, a small tint of hope heard.

„We'll ask about that, after the fight..." Matsumoto answered, but then uproar started to get silent. „...which I think is over now." All three friends turned their eyes at the centre. The white male was standing above the other boy, pinning him to the ground. Even though the fight was long and demanding, Shiro's face wasn't expressing neither tiredness, nor pain. He was a lot more wounded and took in more blows than Ichigo, yet he seemed to be pretty fine. On the other hand, the orange boy was hardly breathing. He didn't have enough power to get rid of the weight Shiro was putting on him. It seemed that there was only a small scratch under his left eye, which hardly bled.

„Eh~? Givin' up, already?"The albino whined and stop putting pressure on the beaten boy. The other, however, remained lying on the floor, still recovering. „And ta think I went easy on y-URGH!" Before he could end his sentence, an unpredictable hit came from Shiro's left, pushing him away from the orange-headed. „Wha' the fuck?" Shiro shook his head to clear it from rather strong punch and searched for the reason. It was Ichigo's lover, Souske Aizen. His face was cold and emotionless, which gave a bad vibe to Shiro. A grin came back to Shiro's face. It seemed that his fighting isn't over yet. This time, the group of friends shouted, trying to stop any further fight. But it was useless, as Aizen was running towards the albino. Shiro could feel his blood rushing at unbelievable speed. His breathing hitched and muscles tensed. _'Oh, a rather interesting opponent...' _He could feel the space around him slowing down. There were so many opening on glassed male. He just had to pick one, painful enough...

„NO! STOP! AIZEN! SHIRO!"...but then, a voice echoed in his white ears. He took a quick glance at the lying boy. Ichigo tried to stand up, but it was a hard task for him, so he started calling their names. The quick look ended and Shiro watched Souske approaching him at fast pace and attempting to punch. However, the albino noticed the movement and, with only one hand, stopped the hit, immobilizing the arm. Aizen's face didn't even move, but his eyes showed a sign of surprise. The group got silent, only Renji was brave enough to step into the area of fighting and hel Ichigo get up. The orange boy held his breath, looking at the scene of his lover and ex-lover's stopped fight. Aizen pierced Shiro with his brown eyes, while his free hand made a swing and wanted to attack. No one was fast enough to react or shout when Shiro used his other palm to stop the second blow.

„Ain'tchya listenin' ta yer boy?" Shiro drawled his words. „Today ya'r not my fight, so scram." Aizen smiled coldly, withdrawing his fists and taking Ichigo away from the helping redhead. Shiro's eyes tried to burn a big hole inside the brown head. _'Somethin' is definit'ly fucked up with his brain...'_, he thought. No sooner all boys on the area lost interest of the crowd, so everyone came back to partying and drinking. Only Ishida, Orihime, Matsumoto and Rukia stayed and demanded explanation from the ex-couple. As Shiro wanted to say something, the third hit of the day on his head sent him flying accros the room. _'Fuck, today I'm likely to get brain damadg'.' _When his vision cleared he heard the same sound of breaking bones and spot of orange flew in front of his nose. It was Ichigo, who joined him near wall.

„ARE YOU TWO OUT OF YOUR MINDS?" The raven-haired girl shouted at both boys in pain, anger flashing in her purple eyes. „What were you trying to do? Kill each other?" Ichigo winced in pain, having already enough of hitting and beating. „Look, I know there were some things between you two, but can't you give it a rest?" Two pairs of eyes, golden and brown, looked at angry Rukia in confusion and turned at themselves. After a second Shiro started to laugh like a maniac and Ichigo chuckled silently. Now it was whole group's turn to be confused.

„Ya thought I was tryin' ta get ma revenge from 6 months ago? Hahaha, ain'tchya really cute, Ruki-chan~!" Shiro tried to hold back his laughter and speak normally.

„What do you mean?" The black-haired girl blinked, her eyes turning on Ichigo.

„He means that we didn't fight over the past." Ichigo explained. He knew that everyone would be dumbfounded. They didn't know about the deal Shiro and he made. „It was his idea to duel, so you can't blame me for that."

„Oy, ya didn't seem not ta enjoy it, Berry." Shiro smirked.

„Don't call me Berry!" Ichigo shouted, hating the nickname from the bottom of his heart. After another series of albino's laughter, he noticed mixed expression on his lover's face. „Everyone, don't worry, we are cool. Sorry for not telling you, Aizen, but Shiro and I used to fight like that back in High School."

„Ah, those were th' times..." Shiro stood up and wiped some blood, which appeared right after Rukia's kick of death. „But I can't stop ma'self from tellin' ya that ya pretty much grew thin." He offered his white hand to lift Ichigo up.

„I admit I neglected my physical condition, but I was busy with other things!" Ichigo growled as if the reason was the most obvious fact in the world. Shiro rolled his eyes.

„Either way, ya'd better see Sensei before ya leave, again" Ichigo nodded in agreement, moving closer to his boyfriend. Aizen's cold glare didn't leave the white figure. „When ya'r goin'?"

„I have two weeks left." Ichigo answered. „Alright, guys, it was great to see you, but I'll be going." Ichigo smiled at his friends, hugging and shaking hand every one of them.

„Aw, Kurosaki-kun, we should see each other again!" Orihime whined. Then, she jumped in excitement. „I know! All of you should come to my house and we'll organize a tea evening! How about that? Kurosaki-kun and Souske-kun should come together!" The orange boy laughed at his friend's eagerness. He turned at Shiro and was about to hug him, when suddenly he realized his action. _'What the hell am I doing!' _He jumped in comical way, making Shiro blink in surprise. The white smirked evilly.

„Old habits, Berry~?" Ichigo blushed deeply and took Aizen's arm, storming out from the house as fast as possible. Before he reached the front door, he could hear his ex's calling. „We'll meet again!" The only answer that came back was Aizen's cold look. After some time Shiro got used to that invisible ice glare. He sent his own evil look back and turned to their friends. Everyone seemed to be glad about his and Ichigo's reconciliation, but there was one face, which was rather sour-looking. „Hey, Milady, ar'ya alright?" Rukia stopped looking at the front door, where her had just disappeared.

„Yeah, I'm fine. It's just..." She tried to choose good words to avoid misunderstanding. „It was only first meeting, but that Aizen guy... He gave me a nasty feeling... There was no honesty in his actions. It gave me creeps." Shiro perfectly knew about that feeling. Even without knowing at first who he was, he felt the strange aura the brown-haired male was giving. Hell, his unnatural way of being and his ruthless will to fight him were enough for him to deduce that nothing good was going to happen during those 2 weeks. _'Well, it's Ichigo's choice and it's not my problem.' _He thought indifferently, shrugging to himself. After so much rush and excitement the only thing he needed was Grimmjaw and unoccupied place.

!~!~!~!~!

**Past.**

„The fuck wit' holidays." A faint groan could be heard in dark alley, near Karakura High School. The street was lightened with only one lantern, which switched off and on frequently, due to light bulb's failure. Only deep breathing was heard in the air and the scent of sweat and blood hovered above two heads: one white and one orange. Both boys were injured fatally – Shiro's right arm hung lifelessly, while the second gripped on bare chest, where a big bruise was changing its color into deeper shade of purple; Ichigo tried to stop the bleeding coming from his forehead and couldn't stand on his right leg. Both boys had several cuts on their chests and arms and their faces were swollen after series of punches. They looked around the street. There were at least 15 bodies lying on the ground, each one passed out after painful encounter with either Shiro or Ichigo. „First day wit'out school and we already hav' ta fight those motherfuck'rs..." It was the first day after graduation. Both boys ended their school, welcoming one of the longest holidays they ever had. In two weeks they were supposed to take entrance exams into their new universities. But life wasn't easy on them. Since it became obvious that Shiro and Ichigo were dating, their relationship had its supporters as well as haters. During 2 years, there was almost no week without a single gang fight Shiro and Ichigo vs. Whole bunch of Gangsters Affected by Steroids. Fortunately, both of them knew how to fight and not once were they forced to join their strength. „Ichi, ar'ya aliv'?" The albino moved closer to his lover, wrapping the tanned arm around his shoulders and helping the other keep the stance.

„Yeah... Barely, but yeah." Ichigo tried to make a step forward, but his leg was giving him hard time. „Let's go home."

„I'll walk ya ta yer's." Shiro cursed his body silently. If the pain in his ribs wasn't so annoying, he could try to lift Ichigo and go on his own. Both boys began their slow travel to Kurosaki's Clinic. Ichigo winced, horrible pain in his leg reminding of itself with every centimeter. „Maybe we should tak'a break, Ichi?"

„No, I'm fine. We need to see my Dad as soon as possible." Ichigo gritted his teeth. They were about to exit the creepy alley, when, all of a sudden, new shadows appeared in front of them. Shiro and Ichigo stopped, using the strength left to see the groups faces. The brown orbs widened. „Shit..." There was one face, which he recognized immediately. During their earlier fight, a clumsy gangster flew away quickly and Ichigo was already occupied with other fighters, so he just forgot about him. _'He called for help... Fuck, now I'm going to regret leaving him.' _

„Well, well, well. You queers seem to be quite exhausted." The tallest and biggest guy spoke, showing his metal teeth in disgusting, wicked smile. Shiro snarled. They were too exhausted to beat up another 5 big guys with no necks. Before the white could move, the biggest grabbed his throat and lifted him up. Ichigo was pinned down by two other boys, cursing the gang and shouting for Shiro. „Normally I ask politely all homo-fuckers to leave the city, but you two are giving me too many goddamn problems. My people are leaving me, because they don't want to encounter you, cunts." His giant fist, armed in knuckleduster, painfully hit the white's stomach. Shiro's eyes widened in unbearable pain when the blow forced great amount of blood out of white lips. The big gangster smiled in satisfaction and threw the weakened boy at two helpers. He signed them to hold the albino, while he turned himself at suffering orange boy. „That's why I've decided to eliminate you myself. There's no place here or on the Earth for motherfuckers like you."

„SHIRO! SHIRO!" After the white's coughing with blood, Ichigo screamed in terror. He never saw his lover beaten to senselessness. „YOU SON OF A BITCH! LET GO OF ME! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" Ichigo tried to overcome earlier exhaustion, but his guards were too powerful. He wriggled violently, kicking with all his might. Then, a great blow came from above, slamming Ichigo's face with the street's concrete.

„Your hair is surely irritating." The boss smirked, lifting the boy by his orange locks. Ichigo hissed in pain, great rivers of blood coming out of just-crushed nose. „I think you'll be the first one to say 'Hi' to Heavens. Give me my crowbar." The clumsy gangster walked with a metal weapon, while two guardians spread Ichigo's arms, giving a better opening. „Say your shitty prayers, though I doubt God will listen to rape-loving bastard, such as yourself."

„Go to Hell..." Ichigo mumbled, finding in himself last power to spit on the biggest gangster with blood. This made the villain furious and he started to cover the orange-heads body with powerful hits from crowbar. Screams of pain mixed with joyful, cruel laughter of gangsters. Crowbar started to tear all clothes of the victim, tearing skin into pieces and making bloody holes on tanned skin. Ichigo wished so much to pass out. He wanted to fall into blackness and wait for mercy, but boss's hits were well-thought – they weren't meant to beat Ichigo senseless. It was far crueler, he had to horribly suffer. Shiro's eyelids twitched as his consciousness was slowly coming back. Cries of pain haunted his hazy mind and evil laughter shattered his nerves. He slowly opened one of his black eyes, but the vision was blurry. There were some pictures. Two of them were moving roughly. And red... Lots of red coming from one body. The vision sharpened and Shiro recognized one figure – the boss was swinging something that was making all red spots. There was more and more of that with every hit. Blood. His nose captured strong scent of blood, refreshing his mind even more. Irises grew bigger, almost covering golden orbs, which were furiously flashing. His body nerves recovered, sending armies of pain that let Shiro's brain wake up. The scene was now clear. The biggest gangster was using crowbar to place powerful hits on fragile skin of Ichigo. His Ichigo... _'No... Ichigo... ICHIGO...' _Screams became weak, as orange-head was losing energy. That was the line. The line, which gangsters had broken. Shiro felt his veins growing and restlessly pumping more and more blood with adrenaline through his muscles. All his nerves had been silenced, making the white lose his sense of touch, therefore lose all pain. Chaos was welcomed in his mind. Madness. Gangsters that were holding the white boy looked at him, when strange sounds came out. At first, it sounded like a growl mixed with chuckle, but then Shiro burst into maniacal laughter.

„You fuckin-AAAAGH!" In no time, one of the guardians screamed in pain. The boss blinked at unwanted sound and turned at the source. One of his fellows was sent flying into a bricked wall, while the second, who cried, had his arm twisted to the point of breaking arm joint.

„WHAT THE FUCK?" The boss shouted, not believing what was in front of his eyes. The gay he had beaten a while ago had changed. His black eyes were wide-opened and golden orbs were glowing with blood-thirst and insanity. Big, sickening smile broadened on white face, giving the strongest and most dangerous aura the man had ever experienced. Shiro laughed as he pulled the broken arm painfully, bringing the attacked to him. With murderous intention, he smashed the head against the ground. A sound of breaking skull could be heard, making the witnesses shiver in fright. Only Ichigo was too dizzy to be aware of the situation. The only thing he heard was his lover's laughter. No one dared to move, until Shiro stopped his ruthless act. The victim fell on the ground lifelessly. Shiro turned his head on the group. His tongue ran over his bloody lips, tasting the intoxicating substance. The gang froze.

„you... Will... DIE..." Shiro stressed every word, dark vibe thickening gradually. All members started to whisper in fear, while the ones, who held half-dead Ichigo, threw the boy on the ground and started to back off. Shiro grinned even wider, slowly making steps forward. All gang members, including the clumsy one, decided not to sacrifice themselves and left the alley in hurry, leaving the petrified boss alone. The left gangster stood still, his eyes trapped inside the pool of black and gold. His mind alarmed him furiously, ordering the man to run away. „YOU WILL DIE HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!" As he tried to move, the albino ran at abnormal speed, gripping the bigger male's throat and clutching it to the point, when the other was forced to kneel. Shiro dug his black nails into skin, drawing blood. The sight turned the psycho on.

„N-N-N-No, p-p-please... h-h-have... m-mercy!" Tears were running down big, red cheeks, which started to change their colour into purple. Shiro's eyes shrank, almost disappearing. This sight was too patchetic. He had to get rid of it. The other hand was added and joined in crushing thick neck of the gangster. „I-I-I h-h-ave ch... ch... children. A-And a... w-woman! D-D-Doon...oon't..." The air was escaping from his lungs, so he lost his ability to speak.

„I'LL PROBABLY DO THEM A FUCKING GREAT FAVOUR BY GETTING RID OF SUCH A SHITBAG..." Shiro's voiced echoed in the alley. The gangster was getting dizzy from lack of oxygen. He wanted to set himself free, so he moved violently with his arms. There was no use, the grip was as strong as if it was made of concrete. He punched albino in the face. No effect, it only made the maniac laugh frighteningly. _'I... I'm going... to die...' _Those were the last thoughts before his mind fell into comforting darkness. His body fell limp, breath on the edge of disappearing. The sight made the maniac even more excited. He got what he wanted. The fucker was almost dead. Murderous joy ran in his veins, tickling him and making him laugh. He was laughing loudly, ignoring everything around. Ignoring...

„STOP IT! SHIRO, STOP IT!" After hearing familiar voice, the chaos in his mind stopped moving. Moreover, a pair of broken and damaged arms wrapped around his neck, and embraced him tightly. „Please! I'm begging you! Stop it, Shiro!" It was Ichigo. Just when he found himself on the ground, no longer held by gangsters, his senses refreshed and let him look at the situation. What his brown eyes saw terrified him – his lover was awake and seemed to be well. But it wasn't Shiro. The person in front of him was a monster that Shiro was taming through his lifetime. The berserk, which was created by Shiro's dark past, by his parents, who made his childhood a living Hell, just because of his body differences. They were scared of him. Instead of accepting, they decided to punish their son. The reason? His life was big enough reason to be punished and accused of all Earth's disasters. There was even a moment, when his mother came late at night with a pillow in her hands and tried to put his son into eternal sleep. Shiro was lucky enough to run away from them, but that didn't solve all problems. He suffered from anger management problems, therefore his mind was shutting off every time he got too excited. It put him into berserk mode. Ichigo heard those stories from Shiro when they started their relationship, but never had a chance to witness that state. That night was the first time he saw his lover turn into berserk. And he was purely scared. He couldn't breathe, when he saw the first gangster fall down from breaking his skull. Fortunately, he only passed out. But then, Shiro was on the edge of suffocating the boss. He had to stop him, because he knew the real Shiro would never forgive himself for killing a person. „Please, Shiro! It's me, Ichigo! Let him go!" The albino froze at words, maniacal laughter . His grip loosened a little, but he still refused to set the gangster free. The orange started to quiver, afraid of being too late. „Let him go, Shiro! I'm here and I'm fine, you see? Let him go, you already taught him a lesson." White clutches were slowly opening and the body had finally fell on the ground. Ichigo moved immediately to the gangster, putting his ear near the nose and watching the chest. Faintly, but it was still rising and falling and he could feel the wind of breath tickling his cheek. _'Fuck... Fuck, he's alive... He's fucking alive... I'm glad.' _Ichigo almost fell from relief, but instead, he approached his boyfriend and embraced him, letting the white face bury in the crook of his neck. Shiro was calming down. The fog of madness in his mind was clearing up and the picture of Ichigo appeared in front of his golden eyes. He breathed quickly, all muscles relaxed and pain came back with full force. Hands, which were strangling the gangster earlier, placed themselves on the damaged body, returning the hug.

„I-Ichigo..." His voice was breaking. Golden orbs were set on the lifeless figure. „I-I-Is h-he...? H-Have I...?"

„No, Shiro. You haven't done anything, I promise." Ichigo caressed white locks, trying to calm his love down. „Come on, let's go home."

**AG-RO-TAG'S NOTE!**

**Eh... It's already past midnight... I'm sleepy...**

**Well, this will be the chapter I'm updating before going to bigger trip to Belgium! So I don't know when will be the next update. Hope soon...**

**Man, it was surely tough one! The most difficult part was their past and showing 'the berserk mode'. I hope I got Shiro's character right :D Right, it's quite OOC, since we all know our lovable hollow would only kill kill and kill. So the most dangerous state was, in my opinion, a lot more IC :D**

**Hope you enjoyed!**

**READ AND REVIEW**


	3. Gain and Loss

**READ AND REVIEW!**

CHAPTER 3

Beep. Beep. Beep.

The merciless device of morning doom alarmed restlessly, disturbing the sleepy atmosphere. White bedsheets wriggled a little at the sound, uncovering the alabaster body of awakened boy. The right hand wiped lazily last traces of dreams from black-golden eyes, while the left covered white mouth's big yawn. Shiro looked around, still not fully awake, and stopped the alarm clock. After more scanning, his eyes landed on a figure, which was lying next to him during his sleep. The body of his blue-haired boyfriend shifted a little, as it was also affected by the cruel waking. Teal eyes opened slowly and formed an immediate scowl. Shiro chuckled, enjoying the sight of sleepy Grimmjaw.

„Wh't th'hell, Shi..." a quiet mumble could be heard from the boy's lips.

„I hav'ta wak'up, Grimmy." The albino leaned over the other's forehead and placed a caring kiss.

„Wake? For wha'?" The boy didn't seem to be pleased, when his eyes noticed a rather early hour on the clock screen. The weather outside of the window wasn't one of the best, it was pretty cloudy and windy, but it didn't indicate any rain. Grimmjaw observed his boyfriend leaving the bed and trying to find all clothes, which were brutally tossed at night. However, both men were too occupied with pleasing themselves and so Shiro had a really hard time to find at least his boxers. The bluenette savored the sight of his naked, white boyfriend and tried his best not to jump out of bed and rave his lover with the same eagerness as not so long time ago. "Where are you going?" He supported himself on his elbows and gave a curious eye at albino, who entered the bathroom and cried in joy at found boxers.

"I told'ya yesterday. Somewher' between th'second and th'third sex round." Shiro chuckled, seeing the other's face displeased with his answer. "Think a littl'. It's not tha' hard." The albino moved in front of a mirror. His long fingers reached for the biggest earring. In no time, both ears were freed from all piercings, making the blue-haired boy blink in confusion. Shiro decided to also get rid of other unnecessary jewelery from his eyebrows and lip and looked at himself – the face was clean and lost the look of a total punk. White hand reached for the black blouse and normal jeans, which the boy put on immediately. Long, silver hair were caught in a loose ponytail. "I'm goin'. If ya'r too horny tonight, go and see Ulqi. I won't be in th'mood."

"Che, will you cut it out and tell me what the hell is going on?" growl could be heard from the bed, but the reply never came, as the albino left the room. The bluenette brought his hand to scratch his messy hair and looked around the room. After a while, teal eyes spotted plain calendar. Today's date was circled with black. Grimmjaw frowned in thought, trying to recall what his lover said the night before. "What the fuck..." Unfortunately, nothing came to his mind. He sighed in defeat and left the bed, having in mind that today's day was going to be spent alone. In the meantime, Shiro was walking down one of the most quiet Karakura streets. There weren't many people around, everyone were scared of unpredictable weather. Right near the road, which was leading to the graveyard, was a florist's shop with all variety of flowers and plants. Shiro entered the shop and smirked at the figure of man, which seemed to be asleep on chair. The man had long, brown ponytail and was dressed in pink coat with cherry blossoms. A straw hat covered the source of loud snoring, which made Shiro sigh at the man's irresponsibility at work.

"'Cuse me? 'Ello?" The albino uncovered sleeping, unshaved face. "Kyouraku-san? Oy?" The man yawned enormously.

"Naah~! Girls, girls, don't fight~! Your Shun-Shun will treat all of you with his love, kyaa~!" The florist mumbled in sleep, making a blissful face, but still not waking up. Shiro chuckled evilly, though he was really in a hurry and sleeping man wasn't helping him enough. Shiro looked at the position of chair, which the florist was sleeping on and decided to push it a little. After a second, the chair fell. The albino leaned over the lying man, who was fully awake and surprised by unexpected guest. "Ah, if it isn't Shiro-kun?" The white boy grinned widely at his former art teacher, Kyouraku Shunsui. The sentence 'Don't worry, be happy' would be enough to describe that womanizing, sake-loving slacker, who helped Shiro with preparations before the exams in university of Fine Arts.

"The one and only, Shun-Shun." The older man laughed , though he didn't seem to know how his student came up with such a nickname. "Ya really should be car'ful with sleepin' at work. Som'one can come and steal all flowers, ya know."

"Don't worry about that. I'm sure I'd be able to stop that~!" _'Yeah, even though I was pinchin' ya and shoutin' in yer ear, ya still wer' sleepin' _"Anyway, how are your studies going? Do you like Hokkaido?"

"Yeah, nothin' excitin', but can't complain." Shiro looked around the shop. "I'd lov' ta chat with ya, but not today. I'm on ma way ta visit Sensei and I want ta buy som' flowers."

"Oh, yeah, of course. Which one do you want?" The man put his straw hat back on his head, picked up a single blade of grass and started to chew it slowly. Golden orbs inspected the wide choice of flowers, trying to pick the best. His eyes landed on small bouquet with tiny blue flowers. Small chuckle escaped from his lips.

"Ar'ya seriously sellin' forget-me-nots?" Kyouraku looked at the direction white hand was pointing.

"I picked them up yesterday, on my way home. They're not for sale~!" Shiro eyed the man, impressed by cheerful, yet negative response. However, he already made his choice and decided not to give up so easily.

"But I want them. The're perfect for tha' derang'd teacher."

"Oy, you shouldn't be talking about your superiors like that, Shiro-kun~."

"Don't car'. Gimme thos' flowers."

"Eh, I guess I have to give up." The man rose his hands in defeat and handed over small bouquet of forget-me-nots. Shiro grinned maniacally, a small feeling of victory going through his body. He drew out his wallet, but Kyouraku's hand stopped him from taking out cash. "Take them. Just say 'Hello' from me to Sensei when you see him."

"Ya'r not goin' ta pay him a visit, Shun-Shun?"

"I will, but after work." The man smiled widely. "Tell him I'll bring some sake and that we can drink till midnight."

"He will probably shout at ya fer bein' lat'. But whatev'. See ya!" Shiro bowed and exited the shop. He turned right and continued walking to his destination.

!~!~!~!~!

"Are you sure you want to come back by yourself, Ichigo? It may rain later." The black Mercedes stopped in front of the Karakura graveyard's main gate. Ichigo went off and took out two candles and one bouquet of lilies. His lover, Aizen, also left the car, changing his seat from passenger's to driver's. "I can pick you up in an hour."

"No, it's fine, really. I don't think an hour is enough. There are graves I really need to see." The orange-haired boy smiled, comforting his lover with an embrace. "However, you really don't want to go with me to visit my mom's grave?"

"I told you, I really want to do that, but you know how it is with me and work." Brown eyes looked down in sadness. Even though his boyfriend came all the way from Tokyo with him, he still had some business to attend in Karakura. Because of that, their time was limited and they couldn't be together. "Maybe next time." Souske kissed the tanned forehead and let go of Ichigo. "We'll see in the evening."

"Okay, but don't be too late or I'm going to sleep without you." Ichigo whined, giving the last look at the black car, which was leaving the area. He sighed, still not pleased by how he was treated. _'It can't be helped...' _He opened the gate and entered the graveyard. The place was pretty depressing: hundred rows of gray stones, perfectly lined. Some of graves were very well preserved, with candles, fresh flowers and lit joss sticks. Some were ruined, moss and weeds growing on dirty surface, simply forgotten. Chocolate eyes spotted only few people, who seemed to be coming to that place everyday. After some time of walking, he stood in front of his mother's grave. "Hi, mom." Ichigo touched the granite surface with 'Kurosaki Masaki' engraved. Last time he saw his mother was exactly 6 months ago, a little before his departure to Tokyo. Back then, he asked his mother to take a good care of his stupid, good-for-nothing dad and his two sisters, Karin and Yuzu, while he was gone. The big bouquet of lilies was put near the stone. "I've been doing well. First term was passed with no complications." Ichigo lit the candle and put it in front of the grave. He clapped his hands once and closed his eyes, losing himself thoughts. Actually, Ichigo never knew what to do after clapping. He wasn't too happy with repeating learnt sentences in his mind, so he recalled all images of his mom, back when he was a little kid. She was the most beautiful person in the world, smiling warmly at everybody and giving a helpful hand for those in need. He was full of joy, when mom picked him up after karate lessons or when she bandaged his knee after falling on the ground. Images quickly changed from happy to sad. He still couldn't forgive himself because of one event. After all, mother lost her life, because he was too careless. At the age of nine, mom and he were walking back from the store. They were talking and suddenly Ichigo was shouting at her, not agreeing to some matter that he couldn't remember now. He ran away from her, not looking at what was in front of him. Red light flashed frequently, which informed about coming train, but Ichigo was still too angry and ran forward. Suddenly, two lights shined on him, making the orange boy stop on railroad tracks. Fright washed over him, paralyzing all his body as the train was furiously honking. Before the train hit him, he felt a great force pushing him off tracks. The rest was a blur... Bloody red blur... Ichigo opened his eyes in fear, realizing he was still in front of the grave. He felt a single tear running down his cheek. "I'm sorry, mom. I didn't mean to cry in front of you. I need to go. See you." He bowed and left his mother. Even though almost 10 years had passed, he still could feel himself breaking at the reminiscence of mother's death. _'Still one grave to go.' _Ichigo sighed. He really wished he was somewhere else, the place was getting on his nerves. After passing some rows, he turned right and entered area, which was mostly covered in trees. It was pretty hard to find particular graves and Ichigo scowled in irritation, as he was there only once. _'I should have asked Rukia or Renji for directions...' _No sooner, he spotted the grave he was looking for. However, he stood still, surprised by what... or WHO was standing in front of him. "S-Shiro?" The albino turned at the sound of his name. Black eyes flashed in surprise at the intruder of his thoughts.

"Yo, Ichi." The orange boy took a few steps forward and stood to Shiro's right. He looked at the grave. To his surprise, there were some forget-me-nots, right near a medium photo of pale, young-looking male with spiky, shoulder-length, black hair and bright, aquamarine eyes with long eyelashes. The male was smiling cheerfully when the photo was taken, which gave Ichigo a gnawing feeling of nostalgia. "Came ta see Sensei?" Ichigo looked at his white companion in surprise.

"Since when have you been calling Kaien 'Sensei'? That's not like you." The orange boy also noticed great change in Shiro's appearance. Without nasty earrings and piercings, the albino looked even better than when he saw him last time.

"I'm not serious with tha', Ichi. Besides, callin' him lik' tha' always made him angry and me pleas'd." Shiro chuckled and looked at engraving. _'Shiba Kaien...' _

"That's because this word in your mouth sounds like a mock."

"Owie." Shiro laughed before silencing himself and looking at the photo. Kaien, despite being their class-teacher, was also the closest person to Shiro and Ichigo at times of their relationship. The school had a strict policy of not approving homosexuality, so all gays and lesbians were pretty much screwed and didn't want to be uncovered. For some reason, Kaien knew about Ichigo and Shiro, but didn't try to break them apart. Moreover, the teacher was loved by his students. He had a gift that made every person open up to him and every bully respect and fear him. Shiro and Ichigo were very special to Kaien and he treated them more like a big brother than a teacher. Both boys cherished the time they got to spend with the male. But that time had to be abruptly stopped. Shiro's golden gaze hardened at the memory of his sensei and his body felt how his careless attitude backed off. "That bastard has been gone for a year, huh?"

"Yeah..." Ichigo nodded, lighting remaining candle and putting it in front of the grave. "It's been quite a long time..."

"I bet he already found a pretty comfy place somewhere up there." The white looked at clouded sky, imagining the teacher shouting at small group of angels to move their asses and make him some goddamned coffee . _'He would probably that...' _He laughed at his own imagination. Ichigo nodded again, losing himself in his own thoughts. He wasn't sure how deep the connection between his ex and deceased teacher was, but Kaien was a precious person to him. When his father learnt that Ichigo was gay, he forbid to mention anything about his sexuality. At hard times, Ichigo couldn't rely on his family, so he always visited the teacher and mostly stayed for few days. Kaien was ready to help him, talk to him, advise him. Kaien was his support. However, just when he needed him the most, the teacher was just simply gone... "I'll let you be with Kaien alone." Brown eyes widened at the sentence and looked at Shiro, who gave a small smile and moved away. Ichigo watched the albino taking few steps further from grave...

"W-Wait..."...but still, Ichigo was able to reach the black sleeve and stop the other. Shiro turned his head, surprised by sudden action. Ichigo's face was rather unreadable. "Just stay here." The orange was doing his best not to show an embarrassed expression. Normally, such a situation would make him blush furiously, but he grew up and repeated in his head _'It's not a big deal, not a big deal, not a big deal...' _over and over again. Shiro nodded suspiciously and joined Ichigo in standing. "Shiro..."

"Hm?"

"What do you think Kaien would say to us at this moment?" Ichigo didn't dare to look at rather mixed expression of his ex-lover. _'Something is definitely out of character with this guy...',_ Shiro thought deeply.

"I don't really know." Ichigo hummed at rather dissatisfying response. "Why asking? You seem to be emotional all of a sudden." The orange shook his head, trying to refresh some of his thoughts. He didn't want to sound too personal, especially that Shiro didn't give a damn about it. Or did he? The stood in silence for a few moments, Ichigo thinking about his dead teacher and Shiro thinking about what Ichigo was thinking. From time to time, brown orbs landed at white figure, hoping to find a good moment to begin a conversation. "I guess..." Shiro spoke, "Kaien would probably shout at us..." Ichigo looked in confusion. "He hated when we were standing in an awkward silence."

"Awkward silence?"

"Yeah. Ya know, the one, which indicates that one has something to say to the other, but is too scared to say anything." Shiro's black eyes landed at shocked orange-head. "I guess I've leant from him to sense this type of silence." Ichigo scratched his head and tried to look at anything, but Shiro. After seeing his ex-lover at Ishida's party 3 days ago, he had been fighting with himself and wondering if becoming pals _again _just by saying _'I no longer mind (your rather ruthless breaking up with me).'_, without explaining his actions, was really alright. It seemed now that Shiro set all the things right, he got himself a new boyfriend, all friends were happy to see him, the university went well. It gave Ichigo the feeling of being forgotten by Shiro, as if there wasn't ever any emotional attachment between them both. "If you don't want to talk, then it's your choice." Shiro gave up looking at his companion and concentrated on the portrait on the grave. Now that Ichigo was no longer his, he didn't want to put any unnecessary pressure. They were strangers to each other. _'Nevertheless, it really makes me curious...' _he added in his thoughts. Ichigo scowled, inwardly scolding himself for being such a coward.

"I'm sorry..." Ichigo whispered, gazing at the distance. The confession surprised Shiro, he didn't know what the other meant.

"You're apologizing to Kaien?"

"No, to YOU, you thick-head!" the orange growled in irritation, making Shiro even more curious with every moment.

"Okaay?" The uneasiness washed over Ichigo at rather questioning tone in albino's voice. He sighed in defeat, deciding to give a thorough reason.

"I apologize for being a son of a bitch 6 months ago." Black eyes narrowed dangerously, finally realizing the reason of Ichigo's strange behavior. "I shouldn't hav-"

"Stop." Ichigo's eyes widened at interruption. "I told you before – I don't care about the past, so it's fine." The rather brief and emotionless response didn't give a relief that Ichigo was seeking after his apology. Moreover, Shiro's insensible action made the other burn in anger.

"It's not!" It was the albino's turn to look in surprise. "I don't feel fucking fine after what I did and seeing you not caring about my earlier behavior makes me even more annoyed! You don't fucking understand that I feel bad?"

"Whoa, whoa! Now I'm the bad guy?" Shiro smirked at accusation.

"No, fucking not and listen! You don't care about what happened in the past, alright, but don't fucking expect me to do the same! When I know that I've done something wrong, I don't try to hide it or say 'La la la~, let's forget about it all and sing song about friendship and flowers~!' Well fucking guess what? I feel bad, I know that I screwed up and I don't want to leave things unexplained! I..." Ichigo calmed down a little, realizing that his tone wasn't right, especially that Shiro seemed to be more mixed. "I..." He dropped his head, avoiding any look golden orbs were giving. "I made a selfish decision at the airport... Selfish and cowardly. Instead of trying to be with you, I decided to go easier way. Distant relationship was a fucking scary thing for me and thoughts that you would take an advantage of being alone with other guys made my stomach twist. It was better for me to cut all bonds..."

"So I wasn't just trustworthy enough?"

"...Probably, but I couldn't also trust myself. I couldn't picture myself, only dark scenarios were coming to my mind... I even ignored your confession at the airport..." Unexpectedly, the sentence made Shiro's heart twitch painfully, as the boy recalled the moment of being abandoned. White hand ran through silver locks in agitation. He really wanted to avoid this talk, it reminded him too much of the past. "That's why I'm sorry..." Nervous chuckle escaped through white lips and white hand covered confused eyes. The situation was even more awkward than earlier silence.

"God... Isn't it quite ironic?" The orange boy looked up. This time he was expecting a lot more coherent response, but the question indicated that it wasn't going to be a pleasant one. "6 months after breaking up, I've learnt that my first love didn't love me at all, even though we had been together for 2 years." Ichigo's heart squeezed painfully. Hearing those simple words, made him feel even more ashamed. Even he started to doubt about his earlier feelings towards the albino. "You just weren't mature enough for us. Was responsibility for our relationship too much to handle?" Ichigo would probably try to bite back with curses or at least he'd order the other to shut up. But he just stood. He had his pride and he knew Shiro had every right to call him the worst. However, he had a small hope that the white wouldn't try to treat him that way. Suddenly, something landed on his head and caressed his orange locks. Shiro put his hand on him in comforting gesture and his eyes softened at Ichigo's face full of guilt. "Ain'tchya feelin' soo bad for what ya've don', Ichi~?" Ichigo blinked at sudden change of attitude, but still averted his eyes from the other. Small chuckle was ringing in his ears. "Seems that you took it a lot more seriously than me. You were always so emotional."

"Shut up..." The orange blushed at the comment, making the other sigh in satisfaction.

"It did hurt, back then, Ichigo. But, as I said earlier, I moved forward. I think it's something you should also do. However..." Shiro's hand left orange locks and was placed under the tanned chin, gently tilting Ichigo's head. Brown eyes were forced to look at the golden orbs, which seemed to be piercing through them and right inside the soul. "I'm not going to ignore all effort you've put into that apology. That's why..." Shiro smirked and brought his face closer to Ichigo. Their noses gently bumped into each other and tanned skin was tickled by breathing coming from white mouth. The closeness gave Ichigo a familiar feeling from the past – shock mixed with anticipation. _'W-What is he doing?' _"...thank you, I feel a lot better after your confession." Brown eyes blinked with confusion. Shiro grinned widely and took a small step back, freeing Ichigo's face and withdrawing his hand. "From now on we're officially without any hurt, grudge, pain and unnecessary stuff, ok?" They stood like that for a moment, staring at each other in silence. It wasn't awkward anymore. Ichigo analyzed the face of his ex-lover, still trying to find any hidden intentions. _'He forgave me for real...' _Not giving a deep thought, he moved closer and embraced the albino. The action made Shiro slightly jump in surprise. For a moment he didn't know what he was supposed to do, so he stood with his hands in the air. It had been a long time since Ichigo was this close. Nevertheless, he relaxed a bit and wrapped his arms around the small waist. Ichigo put his head on white crook of neck. He breathed the scent of cologne Shiro used, laughing inwardly that it was the same smell as it had been when they were together. He recalled all moments when Shiro just embraced him like that for no reason. He recalled the feeling of butterflies in his stomach, which appeared every time he touched the white skin. The butterflies came back... "Ichigo..." Ichigo opened his eyes as he realized he had been hugging Shiro way too long. Rapidly, he backed off and turned his head away from the other, trying his best to hide very deep-red blush. "Nah~, ya didn't hav'ta end it lik' tha'~! It was pretty comfy~!"

"S-Shut up, you pervert!" Ichigo glared at other. He wasn't sure if there was a subtle trace of pink on alabaster cheeks. _'What the fuck, I'm imagining things...'_ Shiro scratched his head while laughing at Ichigo's annoyed mood. He turned his head at the forgotten portrait of their teacher, Shiba Kaien. For some reason it felt like the picture was even more pleased than before. Vein popped on his forehead. Then, he kicked hardly the granite tombstone, making a small crack on the surface. The albino was purely shocked.

"Wha' th' fuck, Ichi?"

"It's again his doing!" Ichigo growled, trying to kick the stone again, but this time his leg was stopped by white hand. "I don't know how he does that! Even dead, that bastard made me say and do embarrassing things, I'm sure of it!" It took no time for Shiro to realize that the orange-head was probably blaming their deceased teacher for giving him enough courage to speak what was in his mind. He laughed hardly at that, making the companion mumble silently some curses and fold his arms in annoyance. "Stupid, good-for nothing Sensei! Yes, I'm talking to you!" Ichigo grabbed the portrait and looked angrily at printed aquamarine eyes. Shiro had to grab his stomach, the laughter was just too painful."Don't you think you can manipulate me from underworld and do whatever you fucking want! Understood?" Just as he finished, heavy downpour came from the sky, wetting the area in seconds and hitting both boys. It was too much for Shiro, laughter made him crouch.

"Gyahaha! He understood ya perfectly, hahahahaha!" The albino said between series of laughter. Ichigo's eye twitched in annoyance, because he also interpreted changed weather as his teacher's work. _'DAMN. YOU. KAIEN...' _The anger backed of when clothes started to get uncomfortably wet. He grabbed Shiro's shoulder and both males hid themselves under the roof of a small shrine. "Hehehe, I think he want'd ta cool ya down, Ichi."

"Che." Ichigo scowled deeply at rain. The rain seemed to be pouring down forever and it didn't please the orange head. The, he realized he was still holding the portrait. _'I have to bring it back to the grave.' _Ichigo made a mental note. His brown eyes scanned every detail of the face. The anger from earlier disappeared and small smile formed on his lips. Kaien was the greatest person in the world. He had a special place in Ichigo's heart, right next to his dead mother and even Shiro couldn't compete with him.

"Ichi?" The albino asked quietly, when he noticed the orange head gazing at the photo and a single tear running down his tanned cheek...

!~!~!~!~!

**Past.**

Beep. Beep. Beep.

The merciless device of morning doom alarmed restlessly, disturbing the sleepy atmosphere. A loud groan came from the black bed, while pale hand searched for the alarm clock. Just when the beeping stopped, the sleeping person sighed and buried himself deeper in black bedsheets, putting a pillow on head. The room became silent, but not for long. Someone was furiously knocking on the door. The sleeper groaned again, holding the pillow tightly and using it to cover his ears. No use, the knocking was persistent. _'Jesus Christ...' _Realizing there was no hope in coming back to sleep, the pillow was removed, exposing the person fully. The young man yawned, covering his mouth with his pale hand and used the other to scratch his messy, black hair. Eyelids blinked lazily, while aquamarine orbs scanned the surroundings. They landed on the clock, which showed 6:47 on screen. The male moaned in frustration, rubbing his eyes to get rid of last traces of sleep. Because the awakening was rather brutal, he could feel a headache forming. Every knock made his head pound painfully. Whispered curses escaped from his thin lips. "Wait a second!" The male grabbed nearest clothes – a pair of loose, gray pants and oversize, black shirt with 'Jack Daniels' label engraved on it. He took a few deep breaths, trying to hold himself back from shouting at the newcomer. All the locks were opened and the doorknob was grabbed...

"ABOUT FUCKING TIME, KAIEN!" Before the man could do anything, the door just hit his face with a great force, making him curse loudly. The cause of the situation was a orange-haired teenager, who stormed into the apartment and entered the kitchen. Ichigo Kurosaki glared at the older, annoyed by waiting so long in front of the his teacher's door. Just when he heard unlocking, he decided to come in himself. "Is it really hard to open the door when somebody knocks for almost 10 minutes!" Kaien rubbed his nose, erasing some pain from before. His sea gaze changed into icy glare at the violent teenager.

"You wake people up before 7 in the morning, barge into someone's flat without being invited and rudely scold your own superior. You surely have guts to do that..." The teacher growled venomously, finally closing the door and following the orange boy.

"That's because I don't give a damn about the superior stuff." Ichigo huffed insensibly, but froze when pale hand landed on his head, forcing the teen to look at furious male. Shiver ran down Ichigo's spine at fearful sight.

"No... That's because I don't give a damn about you being a punk, but be careful with that. It can ALWAYS change... You got that, you damn brat?" Kaien growled, giving the orange head a strong shake and waiting for any response.

"Y-Yes... I'm sorry, Sir..." Cold sweat was running down teenager's face. When Shiba-sensei was serious, there was no chance to overpower the man. It was this strange force that tamed even the most dangerous kids in whole Karakura High School.

"Alright." The threatening aura disappeared and Kaien patted orange locks, taking a few calming breaths. "Still, what the hell brings you here, Ichigo? Have you looked at the clock?" The annoyed features came back with full force as Ichigo recalled the reason of being here.

"It's all Shiro's fault!" _'Oh boy, another love quarrel...' _Kaien rolled his eyes and looked at himself in the mirror. He might as well listen to Ichigo and clean himself, so he went to the bathroom and started to brush his teeth. "Recently I've noticed more and more scars and bruises on Shiro's chest and back. Every time I ask him about that, he answers 'Nah nah nah, it's exciting, fight fight fight, blah blah!'. Can't he see that he is likely to get into trouble?" Kaien hummed in response, concentrating more on morning shave. One time he tried to grow a beard and, man, did he look like an old-geezer! Ichigo continued. "There were so many people attacking us! But no! Great Shiro is above that, he will beat the shit out of everything that moves or lives! But has he asked me what I think or feel about it? No, of course not!" Another hum could be heard from the bathroom. This time black hair was slowly forming into spikes, similar to those Ichigo had, but a little longer. "He doesn't listen to me! When I tell him not to get himself into fights, his only answer is 'It's not your business. I can't promise that.' And guess what? Another fight! I'm so sick of trying to tame him. Moreover, he starts whining about my dad that he doesn't let me see him as often as he would like to. Is it my fault? Oy, ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING!" Kaien winced in pain at louder voice, just when he was on his way to put a kettle on oven and make some blissful coffee. He glanced at Ichigo, who seemed to be rather angered by no response from teacher's side.

"Yes, Ichigo, I am." He replied patiently. "So please, continue, while I make my coffee, so that I'll be able to tell whether I'm still dreaming or not." Ichigo huffed at comment, deciding to ignore it and carry on.

"What I wanted to say is that Shiro is disregarding my feelings more often and it's getting on my nerves! He has no right to defend himself with my father problem!" The kettle started to whistle as Kaien put two cups in front of him, one with coffee and one with tea. "The more I'm with him, the more I feel I'm just a thing without its voice." _'Okay, two spoons of sugar for Ichigo... Or was he adding three spoons?' _Kaien scratched his head, deciding to add only two. "Times are so fucking hard for me... I just want Shiro to realize that." The teenager stopped his talking and fell in his thoughts. Anger was mixed with frustration, that sight on boy's face didn't please the teacher, at all. He moved closer to Ichigo and handed him a cup of tea, giving a comforting smile.

"Aren't you thinking too much about everything, Ichigo?" The teenager glared at strange question, expecting from Kaien sympathy rather than criticizing. "I know things at home aren't going well, especially between you and dad, but letting your steam off on Shiro isn't a wise idea. Maybe he overdid a little with all those fights, but I don't think he does it for fun."

"What makes you think like that? You're not with him as much as I!"

"I may not be, but he comes here, too, and I listen about lots of things." Ichigo snorted in disbelief. "You think I lie?"

"No, I think it's Shiro, who may be rather inaccurate about his talking. Did he mention anything about my dad?"

"Nope, these are rather surprising news you gave me and I need to confirm them. However, you shouldn't be too serious. If you behave like that all the time, it makes you vulnerable." He took a generous sip of coffee and sighed in relief. The black liquid refreshed his senses and he was able to think normally. "People can sense fear, just like dogs. You need to be proud of what you're doing. If you're not sure about your rights, people will crush you." He gave a worried look at the teenager. "Don't let uncertainty overcome you or Shiro. When there's a problem, just talk, don't keep it to yourself."

"But I-" Suddenly, the second knocking of the day sounded in Shiba's apartament. Kaien groaned, wondering why people decided to visit him so early in the morning. It was Sunday, it was half past seven, it was BLOODY morning! Ichigo took his tea and closed himself in the wardrobe. That wasn't his caprice to hide there, it was Kaien's rule – he wasn't allowed to get very friendly with his students and sometimes other teachers, even principal himself, visited the black-haired teacher. If any of them saw Ichigo and Kaien spending their free time so casually, they would get in big trouble, especially Shiba-sensei. Kaien looked behind his back. Seeing Ichigo no more in his room, he opened the door and stood in shock.

"Wha'? Hav'ya seen ghost or somethin'?" It was Tensa Shiro, Kaien's other student and Ichigo's boyfriend. The teacher shook his head. _'Could this situation get even more ridiculous... God, why do you hate me in the morning?' _"I'm comin' in." The albino passed the teacher and jumped on the sofa, which was pretty close to the wardrobe. Inside, Ichigo stared at his lover with wide eyes. He was about to exit his hideout, but Kaien sent some strange signs. He was supposed to stay in the wardrobe. The idea was odd to Ichigo, but he did as he was told to. "Ya'r not sleepin'?"

"Is it that strange?" Kaien glared at the white teen, closing the door and reaching for his left cup of coffee. "And may I be honoured with the reason of your presence, Lord Shirosaki?" Shiro gave a sour smirk at the aquamarine-eyed teacher. Only he dared to address him by his full name. It was mostly used to annoy the white boy. _'God, I hat' tha' bastard...'_

"Ichi suddenly left ma hom' and I've been lookin' fer him. Has he been her'?"

"As you can see, it's only you, me and my coffee." Ichigo's eyes widened. _'What is Kaien up to?' _

"Che. I may as well stay here for a moment." The cheerful tone dropped and smile disappeared. "I'm really worried about Ichigo." Kaien hummed and signed Shiro to continue. "He became a big bag of nerves and I've run out of ideas how to calm him down."

"What do you mean by that?"

"I mean that no matter what I say or do, he's always getting angry at me and shouting at me. I can't even touch him with a kilometer stick without being burnt!"

"Have you asked him what was going on?"

"Yeah, fucking plenty of times!"

"And... the results?"

"And normally the reply was a new argument! Because I didn't do that, because I did that, blah blah." Shiro ran his hand through his silver locks, trying to form coherent sentences. "His Old man is giving him hell of a time and I wish I could do something with it. But when I try to say something, he suddenly calls me an insensible son of a bitch. I barely can handle his mood outbursts and those stupid gangsters." Kaien looked at the albino in surprise.

"Gangsters?"

"Yeah, homo-haters started to breed like fucking bunnies. I try my best to keep them out, so they wouldn't even try to touch Ichigo." Kaien nodded in understanding. _'Now this is a rather different perspective.' _

"Then why not tell Ichigo what are you feeling?"

"Because... I don't want to burden him. He already has his own problems." Shiro stood up and made few steps around the room. "Sometimes my anger is out of control and I say hurtful things to Ichigo. I wish he could try to relax a little."

"Oh, I think he is definitely going to do that." Kaien smiled confidently. This change of attitude caught the albino off guard. "Isn't that right, Ichigo?" The wardrobe opened and the orange-haired teen appeared in front of Shiro, who seemed to be even more confused. Ichigo made a painful expression. After hearing all the things Shiro said it was his turn to feel like the biggest son of a bitch in the whole city. "Now boys, let me say something to you both." Brown and golden eyes turned at the black-haired male, but closed immediately in pain, when two strong blows hit both teen heads. "I'm slowly getting sick of one complaining at other." Both boys looked at teacher with hurt and annoyance in their eyes. "It's time for you to learn how to TALK. Talking is a direct form of communication between two or more people. An honest talk is the best way to find solution to all problems, both personal and ordinary. But if you want to solve some matters, there must be NO SHOUTING..." Aquamarine eyes landed on ashamed face of orange-haired kid. "...and NO HIDING..." The gaze turned at annoyed albino. "Now, you two. Can you practice talking in front of me?" Boys grumbled under their noses, displeased by being forced. "Ichigo?"

"...I'm sorry about being bitchy and choleric." Shiro chuckled at the childish apology.

"Aww~, ain'tchya so cute like tha', Ichi~?" The orange blushed deeply, trying his best not to shout. However, white arms wrapped around Ichigo's waist and his lips gout captured by Shiro's. Surprised by turn of events, Ichigo forgot about all matters and decided to kiss back. It surely was relaxing, he completely forgot about all problems and his grudge against Shiro's behavior. What the other said earlier made him realize that he was only thinking about himself and Shiro tried his best not to worry him too much. He was a caring boyfriend, after all. They broke the kiss and breathed deeply. "Ya look so delicious, I wanna eat ya~!" Shiro whispered into Ichigo's ear lustfully, making the other blush even more.

"If you want to have sex, then please, leave my apartment." A voice from behind made Ichigo jump. They were still in Shiba-sensei's room and their teacher was standing right behind them. Shiro made some mocking comments at Kaien's direction, which made the teacher groan in frustration. "I swear, if I die, I'm going to be a saint..."

"Why is tha', Sensei?" Shiro smirked, letting go of embarrassed Ichigo. "Dont'chya think about leavin' us tha' fast, ya know."

"Yeah, yeah, I know about that." Kaien laughed, caressing orange locks and smiling widely at the boy. "Miyako would be angry if she saw me so soon." Sea orbs shone sadly, but only for a brief moment. "Besides, I can't leave you two without my surveillance. You'd just kill each other without me." Ichigo glared at his teacher, he really hated being treated like a kid. Eternal scowl was much more appreciated by the teacher than any other negative emotion. "Now, enough with the topic. I'm not going anywhere, neither are you, so get your asses up and prepare me some breakfast!" Both teens whined at order, but icy glare didn't let them complain any longer.

Who would have thought that it would be one of the last times Ichigo and Shiro spent with their teacher?

News about serial killer, called Mestacia, flashed and warned all over the newspapers, radio and television. The murder's victims were young ladies, mostly aged 15-20. All bodies were severally stabbed with a knife. No girl was supposed to go without a strong company.

Three weeks after their morning visit in Shiba's apartament, boys went to school, but couldn't find their teacher anywhere. That day, their friend, Kuchiki Rukia, was also absent. After five periods, the principal of Karakura High School, old professor Yamamoto Genryuusai, stepped inside the classroom. All students greeted the long-bearded man by standing up. His small, black eyes scanned all students as he tried to form a speech. Ichigo watched the old man, when his ear caught odd sounds from behind the door. He recognized the voice as Rukia's, but he couldn't think of any reason his friend was crying over. Shiro gently bumped Ichigo's arm, drawing his attention to the principal.

"Dear students... I regret to inform you that one of our greatest and most respected employees, as well as one of your most beloved teachers, professor Shiba Kaien, died this morning." The time stopped among students. No one dared to make even a tiniest sound. "Because he was your homeroom teacher, I'm offering you, students from class 3-3, my biggest condolences. Your teacher and our friend died heroic death, for he was protecting one of our students from the wanted murderer, Mestacia. The serial killer was defeated and captured by the police, but Shiba-sensei was critically wounded. He died in hospital." Almost every student in the class was on the edge of bursting into tears. "We shall stay together in this time of sorrow. Let's honour the memory of Shiba Kaien with a moment of silence..." Right after the end of Yamamoto-sensei's speech, a thud was heard in the class. Shiro opened his watery eyes and saw his lover lying on the floor, skin white as paper and brown eyes lifeless, blinded by streams of tears...

!~!~!~!~!

**AG-RO-TAG's NOTE!**

**Oh God, what have I done...**

**I re-read this chapter several times and I felt so bad... Kaien is my third beloved character and his death always makes me sad. But you know, don't worry, he'll come back in my story, because the timeline of current events moves forward, while past events are going backwards. **

**This chapter is rather personal for me, Ichigo reacted the same way when I heard news about my grandmother's death 3,5 years ago. I dunno, I kind of felt like writing this type of chapter. But I'll cheer up someday : )**

**Hope you enjoyed! I wish there could be some more reviews!**

**However, right now I'm thanking ****hehehehehohoProductions0****, because you seem to be interested in this story from the very beginning and you leave your review faithfully : ) If you have any wishes, then PM me. Next chapter will be dedicated to you!**

**That's it! I'm off!**


End file.
